East is Relative

Well I’ll be damned

My knitting was delivered to me (for Y20) today by a man I’d never met. Ellie, a member of the hostel staff, came with me and helped me pick it up so I could find the guy alright. Everything was there. I couldn’t be happier.

In other news, one subject I’ve refrained from writing about, in order to avoid complaining too much, is my co-teacher at Shimen. An incident has occurred this week that has spurred me to re-think this policy, because there’s an important lesson here for anyone who is considering taking the path I did. John is another American, 50 years old, and moved here after his small tomato farm in Wisconsin experienced a bad crop season and stopped being profitable. In recounting my issues with John, I am going to attempt to be as unbiased as it is possible to be (not very much, I’m sure – this is a very personal issue).

John and I have not ever really gotten along well, but personal differences aside, this wasn’t a huge issue (or at least, not one that couldn’t be solved with a rousing complaint session to my mom over Skype). This week, that all changed. We’ve had our disagreements in the past, but my 17-day vacation has apparently been a last straw situation. John agreed to cover the 5 class days I was going to miss to take this vacation. In fact, John was the one who informed me about the students’ exams so I could leave for my trip early and add extra days to my trip. But while I was gone, he started to ask for extra pay for covering my classes – all well and good and within his rights.

Two days ago, however, I got a phone call from our helper in Shimen telling me that John was demanding 17 days pay from the school, since I was gone for 17 days; a far cry from the actual 5 days he was covering, and brutally unfair. Originally, Buckland had divided my salary by 30 days per month, and was going to dock me 5 days worth of that pay. When I called Buckland to sort this issue with John out, however, they informed me that they’re going to divide my salary by class instead of by days – John is teaching 19 of my classes (I teach approximately 60 a month), and as such, I’m going to lose 1/3 of my monthly salary to him. I called him to discuss the issue (specifically to ask why he hadn’t talked to me about money before I left) and ended up getting screamed at, called a selfish brat, told that I blame other people for my problems, and in general verbally abused – this is actually quite typical behavior for John, but this was a last straw for me as well.

A large part of why I want to leave Shimen is because John is the only other foreigner in town and we don’t get along well. Herein lies the larger lesson. As in any population (a college class, a workplace, a hobby club), personalities differ between all members. In an extreme situation, such as traveling to a foreign country where you don’t speak the language to live for a year, these personality differences are also stretched to the extreme. I have found this to be true not just of John, but of many of the foreigners I have met in China.

In the case at my school, John and I are both strong-willed and opinionated. I’m trying to learn the language and adapt to Chinese culture as much as I can, but John has decided not to learn the language, hates Chinese food, and according to most of his complaints about our school’s situation, hates most of Chinese culture and largely thinks the Chinese are out to get him or trying to “screw him over”. I’m here to travel and see the country; John has said on many occasions that he’s here to avoid the bad economy in America and is actively trying to find a young Asian wife (he’s traveling to the Philippines over Spring Festival to meet several young girls he’s talked to on the internet). Obviously, neither of us really respects the reasons the other is here, and as such, it is not surprising that we don’t get along.

Other foreigners I’ve met run the gamut from people who are constantly positive about Chinese culture, language and history, to people who are obviously unhappy in China and are frequently very negative about everything to do with Chinese culture. In a different vein, many foreigners are inwardly or outwardly hostile to other foreigners – especially in Yangshuo. There, foreigners will blatantly stare at you (likely because they are surprised at how many other foreigners are there), or they will completely ignore your existence and won’t return passing smiles or will avoid eye contact at all costs. Some foreigners are here to rock climb and think all other reasons for coming to China are inferior. Some foreigners marry Chinese people and only associate with Chinese people. Some marry Chinese people and still only associate with foreigners.

I guess my point is that foreigners in China are a mixed bag of extremes – and I wonder where my place is on that scale. Of course, we always view ourselves as normal and judge others based on that – I’m sure I’m a weirdo to all the foreigners I’ve met. But anyone who reads this looking for information about what it’s like in China should know this – many of the foreigners here are extreme in one way or another, and it can make for a very interesting or a very stressful experience. It is highly unlikely that you will find someone exactly like you that is in the country for the same reasons and gets you perfectly. You’re more likely to meet similar-minded people at home, I think.

Regarding changing schools – I am, in fact, leaving Shimen in January. My term is over January 29th, and then I will move to Hanzhong, where my friend Laura teaches. Her co-teacher, Corey, is dissatisfied with Hanzhong, and will be trying to find another school, so his position has opened up and I have been approved to go there and teach with Laura. Laura and I get along very well, and there are other foreigners in the town, and a university, and several historical and natural sights in the area, and it’s 4 hours from Xi’an. The school itself is in the middle of town, and it’s a 3-minute walk to restaurants, supermarkets, coffeeshops, etc. Laura’s school doesn’t give them 3 meals a day (which is part of the reason I think life is so isolating at Shimen; I don’t have to leave the school for almost any reason, and it’s easy to become a shut-in), so I’ll be forced to go out to the street, order food, practice my Chinese, etc. There are several possibilities for Chinese lessons in that town, and there are places to go and hang out, with foreigners and with Chinese people. All signs point to a much more fulfilling experience there.

I had refrained from posting about the school change, too, because my school doesn’t know I’m leaving yet, but now I’ve been told by Buckland that it doesn’t matter if they find out. I apologize for how much this has been a rant, but I think it’s important to recount all of my experiences.