This drive was just what I needed. Lately, things haven’t been going according to plan. I’m not teaching, I’m not living in the city limits (rather, I live in the suburbs), I haven’t moved to Atlanta or Seattle or San Diego, and I haven’t been doing theatre. Not only that, but I’m in the middle of attempting to buy a condo (still in the suburbs), which is a big step, and can sometimes sound like a jail door.

As I laughed (a bit crazily) to myself last night, I felt a sense of comfort. What I’d really been missing was some kind of travel adventure. I missed getting on the back of a moped taxi with Aimee in Changsha, with the two of us holding on to all my luggage for dear life. I missed going out for jiao-zi in a bank parking lot at 2am in Xi’an and talking to the random late-night diners. I missed walking through street markets in every city I went to, eating lamb kebabs and dried fruit.

Getting in my car to drive and just going wherever the road took me was exactly what I needed to reasonably satisfy my wanderlust for the time being. Of course, I can’t waste a half tank of gas every day or week or month, but at least it was good to know I can get the feeling back, if only temporarily.

On another note entirely, here’s an ABC news video about teaching English in China; it’s not entirely accurate to the situation outside of the big cities, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/learning-english-china-12155885

This is via Two Americans in China, a blog written by two new Buckland teachers.

Days spent in China: 201
Days spent on vacation: 75
Classes taught each week: 15
Hours of classroom time each week: 12
Students taught each week: 825
Number of days before I got used to spicy Hunan food: 4
Number of days before I started to prefer spicy Hunan food: 7
Cities visited: 13
Sleeper bus rides: 1
Plane rides: 7
Bus rides: 9
Train rides: 23
Highest ground altitude: 5079m
Total attempts to see Mao or his birthplace: 5
Successful attempts to see Mao or his birthplace: 0
Books read (including audiobooks): 13
Balls of yarn purchased: 80+
Balls of yarn lost (and then hand-delivered to me in Changsha): 8
Socks knit: 7
Stitches knit onto my sweater by a Chinese woman: approx. 100
Number of days I went before eating McDonald’s: 176
Number of times I ate McDonald’s after that: 20

I’m still processing about everything. It was weird to get dimes back as change in the Seattle airport (the common Y1 coins in China are a lot heavier). It was weird to see people waiting to get on the airport tram until after everyone else had gotten off. It was weird to see people driving in the lines on the streets (when I picked up my car, I was worried I’d forget the rules of the road; I didn’t). Things are just…weird right now. As is to be expected. I’m going to go into full-on job hunt in the next few days. I need some serious cash to pay my credit card bill, student loan payment, car insurance, and cell phone bill. I’ll also be applying for teaching jobs for the 2010-2011 school year. Wish me luck on that. More news as I really start to interact with America again.

Also, Chengdu pictures have actually been added to the photos page; I had uploaded them to flickr, but didn’t put them in a set, so they weren’t showing up. Sorry for that. Also, all the videos I’ve taken (8 total) have been added to the “China Videos” set, as well as the set for the location where they were taken, so if you want to look at those, you can find them both places now. There are videos from Chengdu, Lhasa, Hanzhong, Yangshuo (the Return of the Laowai set), Changsha (the Round 2 set), and Shimen No. 1 Middle School. enjoy!

Shimen was not a good fit for me for several reasons. Buckland has offered me several other options for schools, but they seem to be bad fits for similar reasons to Shimen. Ultimately, I’m a city girl. I had a good time finding out about small-town China, but I feel that all I will accomplish in six more months is to realize that I really don’t like small towns. Especially small towns in which I don’t speak the language.

I love China. I love the language and the people and the cities and the small towns. I do not, however, love teaching EFL. I love teaching, but there’s a reason I didn’t minor in English…I hate English. There’s a reason I didn’t certify in lower grade levels…I have to be able to reason with my students (something that’s impossible with low-comprehension, low-participation Chinese students). The negatives outweigh the positives here.

I’ve also been extremely lucky in this term as far as travel opportunities. I have been to Shanghai, Suzhou, Changsha, Liuyang, Changde, Hanzhong, Xi’an, Yangshuo. When my mom and stepdad come to visit, we are going to Beijing, Nanjing, Huangshan, Harbin, and Xi’an. After they are gone, I will go to Lhasa and Chengdu. I will have been to almost every place I wanted to go in China in around 6 months. I have been so fortunate to have that opportunity.

For all these reasons (and of course, more), I have decided that after I travel this Spring Festival, my time in China is over. I don’t want to continue to teach EFL, and I’d much rather leave China while I still love the country than stay another six months and risk getting bitter.

I will be coming home to the US around March 4th (I haven’t thought far enough ahead to factor in the time-changes – I leave Beijing on March 3rd). I will, of course, keep you up to date about my travels with my parents, and my impressions of America and China once I’ve left the Middle Kingdom.

It is a bitter-sweet parting, but I think the decision I have made is for the best.

- On the way back from Changde, our express mini-bus, which was supposed to be non-stop to Shimen, stopped 6 times to deliver boxes to random people in slightly-en-route small towns. Nevill informed me that this is “not allowed” (read: probably illegal) in China, but the bus driver did it anyway. The driver also waited until 4:30pm to leave Changde, even though the bus was supposed to leave at 4:00pm, to try and get more people on the bus. Nevill spent most of the hour drive home swearing in English about the bus driver. He was 3 minutes late to a staff meeting because of all this craziness. Poor Nevill.

- I again succeeded in avoiding eating at McDonald’s, despite serious prodding from Nevill. I refuse to eat it before I go home, dammit!

- Nevill is pretty much a fantastic photographer with a big fancy camera, and he took some pictures of me and I took some pictures of him on our Changde adventure. Hopefully, he’ll send them to me soon so I can post them here.

- Nevill informs me that there are “many more foreigners” in Changde. When I asked how many, he said, “4 or 6. Many more than in Shimen.” There are at least 10 foreigners in Hanzhong, which is like 14 gazillion according to this scale.

- This week, I will help my students choose English names, and then tell them I’m leaving Shimen. This, along with actually saying goodbye to them next week, will be the saddest thing about my leaving, without a doubt. I’m not looking forward to it.

- My mom and stepdad will be here in three weeks and I’m totally excited! I have to plan what I’m going to do between 1/29 when I finish teaching and 2/5 when I have to be in Beijing to meet them. I can’t wait to force-feed them amazing Chinese food.

In other news, one subject I’ve refrained from writing about, in order to avoid complaining too much, is my co-teacher at Shimen. An incident has occurred this week that has spurred me to re-think this policy, because there’s an important lesson here for anyone who is considering taking the path I did. John is another American, 50 years old, and moved here after his small tomato farm in Wisconsin experienced a bad crop season and stopped being profitable. In recounting my issues with John, I am going to attempt to be as unbiased as it is possible to be (not very much, I’m sure – this is a very personal issue).

John and I have not ever really gotten along well, but personal differences aside, this wasn’t a huge issue (or at least, not one that couldn’t be solved with a rousing complaint session to my mom over Skype). This week, that all changed. We’ve had our disagreements in the past, but my 17-day vacation has apparently been a last straw situation. John agreed to cover the 5 class days I was going to miss to take this vacation. In fact, John was the one who informed me about the students’ exams so I could leave for my trip early and add extra days to my trip. But while I was gone, he started to ask for extra pay for covering my classes – all well and good and within his rights.

Two days ago, however, I got a phone call from our helper in Shimen telling me that John was demanding 17 days pay from the school, since I was gone for 17 days; a far cry from the actual 5 days he was covering, and brutally unfair. Originally, Buckland had divided my salary by 30 days per month, and was going to dock me 5 days worth of that pay. When I called Buckland to sort this issue with John out, however, they informed me that they’re going to divide my salary by class instead of by days – John is teaching 19 of my classes (I teach approximately 60 a month), and as such, I’m going to lose 1/3 of my monthly salary to him. I called him to discuss the issue (specifically to ask why he hadn’t talked to me about money before I left) and ended up getting screamed at, called a selfish brat, told that I blame other people for my problems, and in general verbally abused – this is actually quite typical behavior for John, but this was a last straw for me as well.

A large part of why I want to leave Shimen is because John is the only other foreigner in town and we don’t get along well. Herein lies the larger lesson. As in any population (a college class, a workplace, a hobby club), personalities differ between all members. In an extreme situation, such as traveling to a foreign country where you don’t speak the language to live for a year, these personality differences are also stretched to the extreme. I have found this to be true not just of John, but of many of the foreigners I have met in China.

In the case at my school, John and I are both strong-willed and opinionated. I’m trying to learn the language and adapt to Chinese culture as much as I can, but John has decided not to learn the language, hates Chinese food, and according to most of his complaints about our school’s situation, hates most of Chinese culture and largely thinks the Chinese are out to get him or trying to “screw him over”. I’m here to travel and see the country; John has said on many occasions that he’s here to avoid the bad economy in America and is actively trying to find a young Asian wife (he’s traveling to the Philippines over Spring Festival to meet several young girls he’s talked to on the internet). Obviously, neither of us really respects the reasons the other is here, and as such, it is not surprising that we don’t get along.

Other foreigners I’ve met run the gamut from people who are constantly positive about Chinese culture, language and history, to people who are obviously unhappy in China and are frequently very negative about everything to do with Chinese culture. In a different vein, many foreigners are inwardly or outwardly hostile to other foreigners – especially in Yangshuo. There, foreigners will blatantly stare at you (likely because they are surprised at how many other foreigners are there), or they will completely ignore your existence and won’t return passing smiles or will avoid eye contact at all costs. Some foreigners are here to rock climb and think all other reasons for coming to China are inferior. Some foreigners marry Chinese people and only associate with Chinese people. Some marry Chinese people and still only associate with foreigners.

I guess my point is that foreigners in China are a mixed bag of extremes – and I wonder where my place is on that scale. Of course, we always view ourselves as normal and judge others based on that – I’m sure I’m a weirdo to all the foreigners I’ve met. But anyone who reads this looking for information about what it’s like in China should know this – many of the foreigners here are extreme in one way or another, and it can make for a very interesting or a very stressful experience. It is highly unlikely that you will find someone exactly like you that is in the country for the same reasons and gets you perfectly. You’re more likely to meet similar-minded people at home, I think.

Regarding changing schools – I am, in fact, leaving Shimen in January. My term is over January 29th, and then I will move to Hanzhong, where my friend Laura teaches. Her co-teacher, Corey, is dissatisfied with Hanzhong, and will be trying to find another school, so his position has opened up and I have been approved to go there and teach with Laura. Laura and I get along very well, and there are other foreigners in the town, and a university, and several historical and natural sights in the area, and it’s 4 hours from Xi’an. The school itself is in the middle of town, and it’s a 3-minute walk to restaurants, supermarkets, coffeeshops, etc. Laura’s school doesn’t give them 3 meals a day (which is part of the reason I think life is so isolating at Shimen; I don’t have to leave the school for almost any reason, and it’s easy to become a shut-in), so I’ll be forced to go out to the street, order food, practice my Chinese, etc. There are several possibilities for Chinese lessons in that town, and there are places to go and hang out, with foreigners and with Chinese people. All signs point to a much more fulfilling experience there.

I had refrained from posting about the school change, too, because my school doesn’t know I’m leaving yet, but now I’ve been told by Buckland that it doesn’t matter if they find out. I apologize for how much this has been a rant, but I think it’s important to recount all of my experiences.

I could not resist taking my picture with these girls. I was so happy to see Christmas decorations that I actually giggled out loud while I was looking for my bread. There were actually tons of Christmas decorations up – I want to know where they got them. But that’s the only place I’ve seen decorated for Christmas at all. I’m really sad that I’m missing all the Christmas stuff at home, but that’s why I’m going on vacation, right?

9 days until I leave on my vacation and I’m getting really excited. I kind of alternate on different days from being excited about my trip and depressed that it’s still kind of far off. I can’t even pack yet – I’m using my backpack for class this week. I’ll be meeting up with Matthew Muller of Pathology of Wanderlust fame in Changsha, and we’ll be taking a trip to Shaoshan, Mao’s birthplace, the day after Christmas. I’m really excited about that. Hopefully I’ll be able to get into the Hunan Provincial Museum on the morning of the 27th, but we’ll see. If not, I’m going through Changsha again to leave for Spring Festival, so I’ll have time then (and I have 7 days before my parents get into China, so I’ve got all the time in the world). Then it’s on to Chengdu (maybe) and Xi’an! I’m really excited about this whole thing.

This week I have been extremely lazy in class. Last week’s American music class started alright and then devolved into crazy students (as it does every week). This week, I was talking about movies, and with my first class, which is also my best-comprehension and best-participation class, I tried to do a fill-in-the-blank with movie vocab, like “camera” and “scenes” and “actor” and “extra”. Apparently, the clues were too difficult and they didn’t know about 2/3 of the vocabulary, so it was a total flop. I scrambled to get them and the class afterwards to describe the action of some movie clips we watched, but they weren’t getting it. I have thus devolved into letting them watch part of High School Musical for listening comprehension. I don’t feel so bad about this because so far, every class has seen the first 45 minutes in their other English class, so obviously their Chinese teachers are using this movie and technique as well! So we skip to the last part they saw and go from there. I think for my very last class we’ll finish watching the movie before I say goodbye.

- I high-fived a kid in my class today because of his answer. Students had to tell me in a complete sentence why they liked or did not like a song; he gave me three sentences. “I like Michael Jackson. This song reminds me of Michael Jackson. I like this song because it reminds me of Michael Jackson.” Hilariously, the song in question was Johnny Cash’s “I Walk the Line.” But A+ for the sentences and the logic train!

- I think I’ll be able to write at least two, if not three lesson plans tonight. These lesson plans associated with American culture are easy to write and intuitive, and so far the music lesson is going well.

- I think part of the problem with this situation is that I teach the same lesson 15 times. I’m sure that my attitude towards the lesson must go down after Tuesday or so, so Thursday and Friday are usually less successful. I’m not exactly sure how to combat that – I know I’m supposed to teach it like it’s brand new every time, but that’s very difficult. Hey, maybe that’s why I hate acting…

- I was told that in traditional Chinese medicine, oranges dry your lips out. I did, as a matter of fact, have serious chapped lips until about a week ago, after I finished the last oranges in my fridge. Hm.

- Christmas is coming. I listened to Christmas music while I did some of my work over the weekend. I will probably do that once a week. I never ever thought I would say this, but I miss hearing Christmas music blaring over the speakers in every building I enter for a solid two months.

- This should not be misinterpreted to read that I miss the cold, because I absolutely do not under any circumstances miss the cold. But it was strange listening to Christmas in December when it hasn’t really been brutally cold once. It’s been chilly some days (and it’s always cold in my apartment; the cement building can’t seem to warm up no matter how sunny it is), but it hasn’t been cold. And it really hasn’t snowed (except for a little drift overnight during a cold snap last month, and that was gone by lunch). Pair this climate with central heating, and I’d be set.

- I’ve been ripping through books and audiobooks lately. Neil Gaiman’s American Gods and listened to Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley’s Frankenstein, and listened to the first two books of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings (which I’ve read before, but it’s nice to listen to while I’m knitting – I forgot how much I miss that story). I’ll move on to the third book tonight after I finish lesson planning. I’ve also started the introduction (by Hayden Carruth) to Jean-Paul Sartre’s Nausea. I don’t know much about the book, but I’ve always liked going into things blind. I know Sartre was an Existentialist and wrote a bunch of plays (which I haven’t read, shamefully), and I know this isn’t a play. Other than that, I’m going in without prior knowledge. Wish me luck.

- I’ve also been logging my book reading on goodreads.com, and I totally dig it. Check out my profile to see what else I’ve read or want to read in the future. You have to sign up for an account to see detailed info (and if you do sign up, add me as a friend!).

- I’ve become social network insane. I’ve been linking so many things to my facebook and myspace and twitter and tweetdeck and LinkedIn and goodreads and all that stuff that soon, I’m going to create a hole in the space-time continuum and the Department of Temporal Investigations will come after me.

- Bonus cookies if you get the nerd reference in the previous item.

I’ve also added a few new links in the sidebar, to some fellow bloggers who have sent me messages since stumbling across my blog. Have a look at their blogs; they have some very interesting things to say.

It’s been an interesting week for me; I’ve had a few behavior problems, and sent two students out of the classroom for the first time for talking after I repeatedly told them to stop. To keep from being sent outside, they tried to apologize, but I held out. We’ll see what happens next week. Some of my most communicative classes were dead silent today. I’m in a funk about it – it’s one of those times that I get angry and think I should just quit teaching, but underneath my irritation, I know I love to teach. I think I just hate teaching English (which, let’s be honest, I knew in advance – that’s why I minored in History Education, not English Education). I’m soldiering on with this new lesson plan concept, though, and we’ll see if I can keep it going until the end of the term.

To fend off this holiday sadness, I’m going to be planning a vacation. The foreign teachers are given Christmas Day and New Year’s Day off – this would be two Fridays off in a row, two three-day weekends. Unfortunately, you can’t really do much of anything in 3 days by way of traveling away from Shimen – most places are a full day on the train, and due to the bus and train schedules back from Changsha, the nearest hub, my return times are pretty limited. I’ve asked for the Monday-Thursday of the week in between the holidays off (as well as the Monday after New Year’s), and the school gave me permission today. I’m in the rough stages of planning to go to Changsha to meet some new people for Christmas, going to Chengdu for a few days by myself to test my hand at traveling alone in a nice big touristy city, heading to Hanzhong to see Laura for a day or two, before taking her with me to Xi’an to celebrate New Year’s and my birthday (January 2nd). And to make matters even better, Judy, another Buckland teacher who I got along with really well at orientation, shares my birthday, and lives near Xi’an. So we’ll be having a joint birthday celebration before I take off on January 3rd to return back to Shimen. Talk about a holiday trip! I was hoping to also grab a few other fellow Buckland teachers, Eric and Meghan, while I was in Chengdu, but Eric’s parents have changed their previous travel plans and will be visiting them over Christmas.

And once I get back to Shimen on January 4th, it’s only a month until my mom and stepdad arrive on February 5th in Beijing and we go on another crazy trip for the two weeks that they’ll be here. We’re planning on seeing Beijing, Xi’an, Suzhou, Nanjing, and Shanghai. Because we’re crazy.

On an unrelated note, my internet has again been in-and-out, due to both my Great Power-Save Initiative, and the installation of a new VPN that should give me greater access to websites. It’s been a rocky start, but I think I may have the thing working now.

Next time I sit down to the blog, in a few days, I’ll write about my current lessons; they’re going really well, and I’m quite proud of the idea I came up with for the rest of the term.